Most recently, I have been hearing about all of the problems that my friends have been having... at work, in their marriages, in their social lives... everywhere. I listen, I offer my two cents, and hope for the best. I was a little put off when one of my friends was venting to me about her recent marriage issues, and I wasn't sure what to offer as friendly advice other than a listening ear, when she told me that she didn't want advice from anyone who hadn't been in that situation before... or whose situation ended differently than she wants hers to, because they wouldn't understand. I wasn't sure whether or not to be offended so I just chalked it up to the emotions that were still running hot from her situation... but it did make me think about what I would do or want if I was in the same situation, if my marriage was on the rocks and had a possibilty of coming to an end. It was at that moment that I heard my grandfather's voice in my head...as clear as if he was standing right next to me, "Marisa, remember... you have to learn from the mistakes of others, cause you don't live long enough to make them all yourself." My grandfather is the wisest man that I know... and it is quite often that I remember the tidbits of wisdom that he has shared with me over the years, and I am always amazed how even now, he still has the right words for the right situations, and continues to share uniques and valuable words of wisdom about life with me at every visit or phone call.
When thinking about my grandfather's words... it made perfect sense to me about what I would want in her situation. Its obvious that no one else would know how it felt to be me... but I would not be the first to be in a bad situation... nothing that I am experiencing is new to the world... and someone else has been there in one way or another. I would lean on those who mean the most to me... I would find someone who has been in that situation and succeeded and ask them how they overcame, I would ask someone who has been in that situation and not had the positive outcome that I was hoping for and ask them what they wished they had done differently either leading up to the situation or in the end. I would find someone to help me see me... someone who I felt really sees me and would be honest regardless of what it might do to my feelings at the moment. I would want someone to be objective and give me a view from the "outside looking in" about what I may not be seeing about myself. I would also seek someone to be supportive to keep me on track... to hold me accountable and to help me to be strong because EVERYONE needs someone to hold their hand when they are weak... and to keep pushing them no matter how difficult to continue on.
I am making a vow to myself... that no matter what the situation... no matter how I think that it may make me look... I WILL learn from the mistakes of others, I will not force myself to endure the painful situation alone because I want to enjoy the life that I have... because I WILL NOT live long enough to make all the mistakes myself and quite frankly, why try?
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