Growing up, I used to spend summers out in "the country" with my grandparents. I would spend days and evenings listening to them and my other great aunts and uncles telling stories about life and leaving their words of wisdom on our young ears and as I got older, I have appreciated their love and willingness to share more and more. My grandfather is now 85 years old and although I was blessed to get to spend so much time with him when I was younger, I still feel that as he gets older that somehow he has so much still to teach me, so I make it a point to call him at least once a week so that we can continue to talk and he can continue to impart the wisdom that he has always been so willing to share.
I have been trying to ask questions about life, children, love, and relationships because 85 years of experience has a lot to share about how to... and how NOT to do things to succeed. What I love the most is that when I ask him something that may have a story tied to it that I may not necessarily expect from him, he will start out the story by saying, "Now... you asked me the question... and you want me to give you the answer right?" I always respond, "Yes", and then he goes on to say, "because... you know... I'm too old to lie to you". When he says that, I know that it is a story that I should pay close attention to and save all of my questions to the end because just as hard as it might be for me to hear, it is probably equally hard for him to tell his granddaughter. So I listen and take it all in patiently.
After having a number of these conversations and hearing the phrase, "I'm too old to lie to you", I wonder when someone gets to that age where you are "too old to lie". In our household, we make a conscious effort not to lie to people... and to not tell even the smallest lie is harder than you think. A friend of mine made me realize that most of us lie everyday... EVERYDAY!!!! When someone asks you how you are doing, and you are not fine... often times we say, "Fine" and move on with the conversation because for one, they weren't sincere with their question and don't want the real answer, and for two because you don't want to explain how you really feel. So their answer is, "I'd rather not talk about it," or if you don't want to inspire additional questions about your well-being then answer with, "Why do you ask?" I have found that those are pretty helpful ways to answer that question that we often find ourselves lying about. In other aspects of life, I feel like I too am "too old to lie" cause I feel like I have a higher accountability to myself. I respect myself too much to have to lie to anyone about anything. If it's not something I want to tell you, what is wrong with me simply saying, "I don't want to talk about it"?
I know that everyone develops at their own pace, but when someone closer to 85 than my age of 30 still has not developed that need to stop lying to people, does that make them a lost cause? I just wonder what it is that pushes people over the hump, what causes people to develop and realize that lying and not being open and honest just opens up your life to be able to enjoy so many other things, to no longer be in fear of how it will make others feel or look at you because you will now know. What's the worst that can happen... that those people won't be in your life anymore because you were honest? Well if that's the case, did you really want them there to begin with? Who are we trying to impress by keeping up the idea that there is nothing wrong, or that we don't need to tell the truth?
My grandpa inspires me with his conversations every week, but the thing I love the most about him is that he is "too old to lie" to me, and that because of him, at 30, I am too old to lie to anyone either... what about you?
I have been trying to ask questions about life, children, love, and relationships because 85 years of experience has a lot to share about how to... and how NOT to do things to succeed. What I love the most is that when I ask him something that may have a story tied to it that I may not necessarily expect from him, he will start out the story by saying, "Now... you asked me the question... and you want me to give you the answer right?" I always respond, "Yes", and then he goes on to say, "because... you know... I'm too old to lie to you". When he says that, I know that it is a story that I should pay close attention to and save all of my questions to the end because just as hard as it might be for me to hear, it is probably equally hard for him to tell his granddaughter. So I listen and take it all in patiently.
After having a number of these conversations and hearing the phrase, "I'm too old to lie to you", I wonder when someone gets to that age where you are "too old to lie". In our household, we make a conscious effort not to lie to people... and to not tell even the smallest lie is harder than you think. A friend of mine made me realize that most of us lie everyday... EVERYDAY!!!! When someone asks you how you are doing, and you are not fine... often times we say, "Fine" and move on with the conversation because for one, they weren't sincere with their question and don't want the real answer, and for two because you don't want to explain how you really feel. So their answer is, "I'd rather not talk about it," or if you don't want to inspire additional questions about your well-being then answer with, "Why do you ask?" I have found that those are pretty helpful ways to answer that question that we often find ourselves lying about. In other aspects of life, I feel like I too am "too old to lie" cause I feel like I have a higher accountability to myself. I respect myself too much to have to lie to anyone about anything. If it's not something I want to tell you, what is wrong with me simply saying, "I don't want to talk about it"?
I know that everyone develops at their own pace, but when someone closer to 85 than my age of 30 still has not developed that need to stop lying to people, does that make them a lost cause? I just wonder what it is that pushes people over the hump, what causes people to develop and realize that lying and not being open and honest just opens up your life to be able to enjoy so many other things, to no longer be in fear of how it will make others feel or look at you because you will now know. What's the worst that can happen... that those people won't be in your life anymore because you were honest? Well if that's the case, did you really want them there to begin with? Who are we trying to impress by keeping up the idea that there is nothing wrong, or that we don't need to tell the truth?
My grandpa inspires me with his conversations every week, but the thing I love the most about him is that he is "too old to lie" to me, and that because of him, at 30, I am too old to lie to anyone either... what about you?
No comments:
Post a Comment