How do I look?

Another Oprah episode where she is interviewing an actress who has battled with anorexia and bulimia... in the supermarket... I pass a tabloid on which the cover of it highlights "the stars" and who has the worst "beach body".... on an entertainment news show, they blasted the haircuts and outfits that actresses had recently been seen wearing... and I thought... wow... if we are that critical of those in the lime-light... what must others think about me.  I found myself overwhelmed with what my flaws are... and like everyone, I found more than my fair share of flaws... and wondered how on earth that anyone spoke to me with as much as was wrong with me!  I can't believe that i had those thoughts... that I allowed that line of thinking to consume my brain at that moment... but as soon as I came back to reality I realized that that is how we have trained ourselves.  We care too much about what people think... we care about what we "look" like because that is what people see... we are judged by our covers.  It is nice to think that it doesn't matter... it is nice to think that people don't judge us based on our exterior... but that is not the truth. 

For decades... laws were created and changed just based on the color of our skin.  People were forced into slavery, it was against the law to receive an education, they were beaten and killed without more tears shed than would be for cattle... and it was all simply based on the color of their skin.  Once these people were freed... did that mean that people stopped judging them based on their outward appearance?  Of course it didn't.  For decades after those whose skin was dark, whos lips were large, noses were wide, hair was kinky... they were still treated badly. Although they were free... they were not able to sit in restaurants... they were not able to vote to have a say in their future.... not able to walk on the sidewalk if another person, one whose skin was fair, hair was not kinky, nose and lips were thin... a person whose looks did not match their own, was coming their way... they had to step down and wait for them to pass.  In the 60's... and during the lifetime of my own parents, those with the dark skin, wide noses, big lips and kinky hair were finally granted equality... integration was forced upon people... they HAD to be allowed to do the same things as others.  However, there was nothing the law to say that these things had to be seen as equal in all aspects of life.  It has taken many years to get to this point where we can work in the same places, eat in the same restaurants, attend the same schools... and even now... a few months ago in an elementary school in Mississippi they are continuing to regulate which students are allowed to run for office in their student council based solely on the color of their skin... just to "make it fair".  So how does that look?

 Did you know that in a recent study, has concluded that people who are obese earn less than their thinner counterparts... another way that "how I look" affects how people are treated.  We place so much emphasis on looks... that an entire industry has thrived because people can now pay a doctor to change their appearance, whether it is adding, taking away... they make the old appear young, the young appear more mature... they give us things that God did not intend for our bodies to have... and all in the effot to be more accepted... to have someone else "like the way they look".  I'm not saying that I am without blame... I want people to like me... that when they look at me I want them to see that I am a loving and kind person who has big dreams and a bigger heart... a person who is a great friend, loving mother, and inspired wife... but most people will look at me and "see" a girl, a brown girl... if they look at my finger, they might assume I am married... and if Phoenix is with me, they might assume I am a mother... but then... and only then if they think that we have something in common based on how I look will they decide whether or not they would like to find out anything further about me. 

I don't want people to look at me on the outside... I wish that wasn't the way things were.  I wish we didn't judge a book by its cover, but we do... and is it feasible to think these things will change?  Who knows... just a thought, but if you are reading this... maybe next time you "look" at me... you will see something more, and see a person who doesn't want to be judged by her looks and will do her best not to do the same! :)