Perspective...can you see clearly through the mud?

"We are each burdened with prejudice; against the poor or the rich, the smart or the slow, the gaunt or the obese.  It is natural to develop prejudices.  It is noble to rise above them. " ~Author Unknown

Wal-mart.. it should be where all studies take place.  There is such a wide range of people who visit that place at all times of day and night.  I think that it is quite possible it would be the only place on earth where everyone has in common... where everyone has visited at least once.  So... needless to say, as your average middle-American type family, I visit Wally World quite frequently for grocery shopping and sometimes just to waste time that I probably shouldn't but can't help but to give in to the call of the deeply discounted crap that I don't need!

Anyhow... all this to say that I was again at Wal-mart last week when I encountered some very interesting people... as if that is a surprise.  However, this time, I was a little more than shocked at their behavior.  I have found that when going anywhere in public with my ten month old daughter, that I seem to find my way into conversations with random elderly people.  So each time I see anyone over the age of 50 headed my way down the grocery store aisles, I prepare myself to answer... thank you when they say how pretty she is... or to tell them her age when they inevitably ask how old she is.  However, in this particular incident... i wasn't prepared for the conversation I would be subjected to.  I was walking down the back of the store on my way to the pet section from cosmetics to pick up some dog treats... coming from the other direction was an elderly woman.  I was ready for her questions... i was ready to smile and tell her what she wanted to know about the baby and then continue on to get what I needed, but I was shocked when the woman stopped ahead of us, a couple of aisles up and she nearly shouted at me, " I'll be done looking at the fish in a minute!" as she turned to look at the fish in the tanks to her right and pushed her cart to the middle of the aisle we were both standing leaving no room for me to pass on either side.  I stood and waited for a few moments, and after what seemed like forever, I decided to make a sharp left and go around the aisle that I was standing next to instead of waiting for her to be done "looking at the fish".  As I walked away, she grumbled something under her breathe and walked on... suddenly very uninterested in the fish that she was so adamant about needing time to look at just a few moments earlier.  I thought it was a little awkward, but we continued on our shopping trip with no event until when walking down the cereal aisle... I was walking past an elderly gentleman who looked at me with a very disgusted look on his face and grumbled, "I can't believe... " and the rest I could not hear. I could only imagine what words came after that... 

I got home, and told my parents about the story... and of course their reaction was to ask if I was alone... and when I told them that myself and the baby were out shopping while Dallas was working at home, they commented that I should take Dallas with me when I go to the store.  I spoke with Dallas' mother later that evening and she immediately started in my defense saying, "Well people are just stupid sometimes... but it comes in all colors. It's not just white people that act like that.... but don't let it bother you... just smile and keep on going." 

This made me think... you know... each person assumed the same thing that I did from these situations, and jumped to try and help the situation, when in actuality... were we all wrong?  Was the lady just really excited about the fish and scared that I might try to come show them to the baby before she was finished?  Was the older gentleman talking to me or was he just grumbling to himself about the events of his own day? 

I could probably make a case for both... but you know... why should I?  Why should I have to decipher what people mean?  Why did I let it bother me?  Why?  I think it is because although we shouldn't let what other people think about us bother us... it is all too true.  People will have their own perception about you regardless of what you do... so what do you want their perception to be of you?  Do you want them to see a perfect person in looks, personality?  Do you want them to see you for who you are, including your flaws?  Are you willing to be vulnerable?  Are you willing to be judged as people will inevitably do for what you portray to them? I appreciate the quote from Maya Angelou that I use in my everday life.... "When people show you who they are, believe them".    So I will take this situation for what it is worth, but I will believe what people choose to make their perception...and when they want to change that, I will believe that too, after all... I don't have time to try and see clearly through the mud!